Hello! Gordon’s pizza?
– No sir this is Google’s pizza.
– Sorry, I must have dialed a wrong number.
– No sir, Google bought out Gordon’s Pizza a short while ago.
– OK. Take my order please.
– OK sir, would you like your usual?
– The usual? You know me?
– According to our caller-ID database, your last 12 orders were for pizza with cheese and sausage toppings, thick crust and crisp.
– OK! That’s it.
– May I suggest this time you add ricotta, arugula with dry tomato toppings?
– What? I hate vegetables.
– Your cholesterol is not good, sir.
– How do you know that?
– We cross-matched your phone number with your name and your online medical portal. We have the result of your blood tests for the past 7 years.
– Okay, but I do not want those toppings, I already take medicine ..
– Excuse me, but you have not taken your medicine regularly. We can see from our database, 4 months ago, you only purchased a box with 30 cholesterol tablets at CVS.
– I bought more from another pharmacy.
– Such a transaction is not showing in your credit card account.
– I paid in cash.
– But you did not withdraw that much cash according to your recent bank statement.
– I have another source of cash.
– That is not showing as per your latest tax return unless you obtained it from an undeclared income source.
WHAT ?
– “I’m sorry, sir, we use such information only with the intention of helping you.
– Enough! I’m sick of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp. I’m going to an Island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and no one to spy on me.
– “I understand sir but you’ll need to renew your passport first as it expired 6 weeks ago.
Thanks to Tony V for the above
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