Gordon’s Pizza

Hello! Gordon’s pizza?

 

– No sir this is Google’s pizza.

– Sorry, I must have dialed a wrong number.

– No sir, Google bought out Gordon’s Pizza a short while ago.

– OK. Take my order please.

– OK sir, would you like your usual?

– The usual? You know me?

– According to our caller-ID database, your last 12 orders were for pizza with cheese and sausage toppings, thick crust and crisp.

– OK! That’s it.

– May I suggest this time you add ricotta, arugula with dry tomato toppings?

– What? I hate vegetables.

– Your cholesterol is not good, sir.

– How do you know that?

– We cross-matched your phone number with your name and your online medical portal.  We have the result of your blood tests for the past 7 years.

– Okay, but I do not want those toppings, I already take medicine ..

– Excuse me, but you have not taken your medicine regularly.  We can see from our database,  4 months ago, you only  purchased a box with 30 cholesterol tablets at CVS.

– I bought more from another pharmacy.

– Such a transaction is not showing in your credit card account.

– I paid in cash.

– But you did not withdraw that much cash according to your recent bank statement.

– I have another source of cash.

– That is not showing as per your latest tax return unless you obtained it from an undeclared income source.

WHAT ?

– “I’m sorry, sir, we use such information only with the intention of helping you.

– Enough! I’m sick of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp. I’m going to an Island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and no one to spy on me.

– “I understand sir but you’ll need to renew your passport first as it expired 6 weeks ago.

Thanks to Tony V for the above

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